Anyway, blogging seems to have gotten all trendy, kinda going the way of web sites and Harry Potter. I've been keeping one through livejournal.com since April 2003, so for the sake of having at least one regularly updating page, I'll stick it here with the rest of my web toys. For past news and maybe an inkling of who people are, go to kjpepper.livejournal.com
Tweets for Today
--posted Wed, 20 Aug 2008 03:32:34 GMT
no subject
I wonder if anyone else thinks of a stuffy giant imaginary rabbit when passing the Harriman station on the Port Jervis line
--posted Mon, 18 Aug 2008 18:24:24 GMT
The universe clearly does not want me to get anything done while I'm here.
So. All was well, Id found Internet cafe, I'd checked on stuff, I had a general plan for the next couple days, and then I shut the laptop and stuffed it away.
Yeah. The next time I opened it? Moire pattern all over the screen. The computer's still usable, but the display is seriously fucked up, and is from bootup on through windows. It won't display flat black anymore: I get this odd blue and black checkerboard pattern. Even more alarmingly, it changes when I tap the side, which indicates a hardware problem. This was confirmed by running system restore a couple of times. So either the motherboard or the video card (if by some miracle the two are separate) has gone fucko bazoo, and me not being a hardware person, I'm rather effectively screwed. Suggestions are welcome.
This is doing nothing for my general anxiety, which has been at terror alert yellow since getting here and finding no internets, and is now a quite lovely shade of orange. Balls. Honestly I'd had a bad bad feeling about this trip since Friday, and so far it hasn't let up much. :(
In good news, after leaving the Tea Lounge, I spent the rest of the afternoon hanging out over at Ruthy's watching Olympics and ribbing each other as is protocol when hanging out with ones older sister. Even managed to get a little bit of a workout in, as if I hadn't been getting a bitching amount of exercise walking places today. Throw 30 minutes on her buildings gym elliptical onto it. Afterwards I had a lovely adventure with her shower and the curtain's propensity of falling down at the most inconvenient times, and much yelling and smacking of the aforementioned computer.
Now there is coffee and me thinking about heading home for the evening and helping Dad retrieve the emails I've sent him throughout the day, and trying not to have a complete meltdown over the computer situation... Of all the things I did not need going wrong.... *sigh*
--posted Sun, 17 Aug 2008 23:17:27 GMT
no subject
Necessity being the mother of _something_ this morning I set out into the big wide world in search of a wifi hotspot. It lead me to a spot in Park Slope not too far off my usual stomping ground up and down Seventh Avenue called the Tea Lounge. It's very very hard to remember that I'm not sitting in the Mercantile in Northampton - the vibe here is very similar.
Spent a good part of last night playing with Dad's iPhone. I still want one, but totally realize I cant afford one right now unless I won the lottery. Not the phone itself, but the data plan that goes with it is so powerful that I can't even really conceptualize how much THAT costs. But.... aaaagggh, they are SO COOL. Maybe I'll look more closely into an iPod Touch, as it has much the same functionality.
I set Dad up with his first honest to goodness ever email address last night too. Now I can keep up with everyone in my family electronically, finally. That'll be nice... I love Dad, but I hate talking to him on the phone.
I'm not sure how this lack of internet's gonna affect vacation time, as I'm rather fabulously stressed out without it. I don't think I'm going to resort to cutting it short or anything, though the thought crossed my mind. In the meantime, I've found this place, the library will be open tomorrow, and with any luck a little bit of time up at the stronghold. On the other hand, i do find it a little sobering how jacked in my existence has become - maybe having to forcibly to deal with a lack of it will be good for me. I know less computer time will be probably a good thing, as both my wrists, after last week's marathon computing horror, are doing something very alarming. Gods. The last thing I need at this point are wrist problems. >:( Especially while ibuprofen's on the verboten list.
Speaking of which. Got some pills to take. More later.
--posted Sun, 17 Aug 2008 16:49:22 GMT
Tea Lounge, Union st.
Tea Lounge, Union st.
--posted Sun, 17 Aug 2008 16:11:51 GMT
Pacific community garden
Pacific community garden
--posted Sun, 17 Aug 2008 16:06:34 GMT
Atlantic Terminal
Atlantic Terminal
--posted Sun, 17 Aug 2008 15:55:32 GMT
no subject
But. Dad has an iPhone 3g. Soooo something to play with until the Internet situation is resolved.
--posted Sun, 17 Aug 2008 02:38:52 GMT
Posted using TxtLJ
Uh-oh. No internet @ The House. Not good...
--posted Sun, 17 Aug 2008 00:21:24 GMT
Inertia
Yeah, I should be gone right now but it's taking me forever to get started. A large part of me really wants to go "fuck it" and stay home. :(
If I kick my ass into gear I can make the 11:25....
ETA: distracted by playing with music. 1:25 it is.
--posted Sat, 16 Aug 2008 13:28:20 GMT
Tweets for Today
--posted Sat, 16 Aug 2008 03:34:47 GMT
still kinda picky about seafood apparently
Bold the things you've eaten. Italicize the ones you'd like to try. Strike out ones you don't ever want to try.
1. Venison
2. Nettle Tea
3. Huevos rancheros
4. Steak tartare 5. Crocodile
6. Black pudding 7. Cheese fondue 8. Carp 9. Borscht - it's sort of a requirement when you take, like, 9 years of Russian classes.
10. Baba ghanoush 11. Calamari 12. Pho 13. PB&J sandwich 14. Aloo gobi
15. Hot dog from a street cart Can't really grow up in NYC without doing this at least once.
16. Epoisses
17. Black truffle
18. Fruit wine made from something other than grapes 19. Steamed pork buns 20. Pistachio ice cream 21. Heirloom tomatoes 22. Fresh wild berries 23. Foie gras 24. Rice and beans 25. Brawn, or head cheese 26. Raw Scotch Bonnet pepper
27. Dulce de leche 28. Oysters 29. Baklava 30. Bagna cauda 31. Wasabi peas 32. Clam chowder in a sourdough bowl 33. Salted lassi ...yeah, my first thought was the dog.
34. Sauerkraut never again
35. Root beer float 36. Cognac with a fat cigar don't smoke
37. Clotted cream tea
38. Vodka jelly/Jell-O 39. Gumbo 40. Oxtail - i don't like it, but guyanese heritage demanded it.
41. Curried goat - see #40
42. Whole insects 43. Phaal
44. Goat’s milk does taste like goat
45. Malt whiskey pretty sure this is a yes and that it's
![[info]](http://p-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif)
prisoner007's fault.
46. Fugu - yeah... no. Maybe if I didn't already feel like I'd cheated death 2ce already.
47. Chicken tikka masala AND I HAVE TO SMELL IT EVERY GODDAMN DAY curse working next to an Indian restaurant.
48. Eel 49. Krispy Kreme original glazed doughnut 50. Sea urchin 51. Prickly pear - ah, weird fruit night.
52. Umeboshi
53. Abalone
54. Paneer 55. McDonald’s Big Mac Meal actually not fond of McD's hamburgers. Nuggets, otoh...
56. Spaetzle57. Dirty gin martini 58. Beer above 8% ABV
59. Poutine 60. Carob chips it really tries and utterly fails to be just like chocolate.
61. S’mores 62. Sweetbreads 63. Kaolin
64. Currywurst
65. Durian 66. Frogs’ legs 67. Beignets, churros, elephant ears or funnel cake 68. Haggis 69. Fried plantain 70. Chitterlings, or andouillette 71. Gazpacho 72. Caviar and blini - again, required consumption.
73. Louche absinthe - i'm the green fairy...
74. Gjetost, or brunost
75. Roadkill
76. Baijiu
77. Hostess Fruit Pie 78. Snail
79. Lapsang souchong
80. Bellini
81. Tom yum
82. Eggs Benedict
83. Pocky 84. Tasting menu at a three-Michelin-star restaurant.
85. Kobe beef 86. Hare
87. Goulash
88. Flowers they have been known to show up in salads at restaurants around here.
89. Horse
90. Criollo chocolate 91. Spam 92. Soft shell crab 93. Rose harissa 94. Catfish 95. Mole poblano - yeah... not sure about the whole chocolate + meat combination.
96. Bagel and lox 97. Lobster Thermidor 98. Polenta 99. Jamaican Blue Mountain coffee100. Snake
--posted Fri, 15 Aug 2008 17:34:25 GMT
wait what?
--posted Fri, 15 Aug 2008 14:20:25 GMT
It's that time again
I had an entry, but I left it on EPEEN and forgot to post it before going to work. So have a youtube vid instead.
I still love this commercial and wish they'd bring it back/remake it.
--posted Fri, 15 Aug 2008 13:32:25 GMT
sixswordsamurai did it, so so am I
Question 1:
The Celtic Cross spread is one of the most popular Tarot spreads, providing varied insight into many aspects of a complex situation and your role in it. The Sola Busca Tarot is a color embellished reproduction of the only known extant 15th century Tarot deck engraved on metal. It is the choice of purists and those seeking a direct channel with the dawn of Western occultism.
The card not shown but at the center of the cross, represents the atmosphere surrounding the central issue. 1 Spade (Ace of Swords): The seed of victory - perhaps as yet unseen. A challenge to be met and solved through the invocation of force. An opportunity to bring reason and intelligence to bear in the pursuit of justice and truth. An excessive power that must not be abused. May suggest new ideas or information that can reveal a solution to the problem at hand.
The card visible at the center of the cross represents the obstacle that stands in your way - it may even be something that sounds good but is not actually to your benefit. 2 Spade (Peace), when reversed: Indecision due to contradictory characteristics brought together. Tension in the aftermath of a quarrel that has been resolved. Scheming, abuse of trust, and agreements made in bad faith. Allowing the mind to block off the emotions. Self deception as a means of justifying cruel acts.
The card at the top of the cross represents your goal, or the best you can achieve without a dramatic change of priorities. 6 Spade (Science): Trusting in intelligence and intuition and setting off into the unknown. Leaving an untenable situation and charting a new course. Passage from difficulty and progress towards a solution. The road to recovery. Travel and exploration.
The card at the bottom of the cross represents the foundation on which the situation is based. 3 Dischi (Works): The commencement of business, commercial transactions, or employment. The constructive use of creative talents, and the expression of artistry in workmanship. Skill and labor turned to the crafting of things of value. Using the conventional as a medium for expressing the exceptional, in order to build something of great renown and glory.
The card at the left of the cross represents a passing influence or something to be released. Olivo (The Tower): Unforeseen catastrophe. An abrupt change, perhaps leading to a new lifestyle and enlightenment. May indicate a broken relationship, divorce, or failure in business or career.
The card at the right of the cross represents an approaching influence or something to be embraced. 9 Mazze (Strength), when reversed: Delayed preparations for an impending trial. Efforts compromised by traitors or saboteurs. The scattering of forces before the conclusive battle is fought. Ill health and faltering of the will.
The card at the base of the staff represents your role or attitude. 2 Mazze (Dominion), when reversed: The erosion of power and influence. Failing to articulate goals or establish a vision for the future. Being caught off guard, due to an inability to come to grips with the impact of past decisions. Obstinate and irresponsible leadership. Loss of interest, clarity, or faith in a venture.
The card second from the bottom of the staff represents your environment and the people you are interacting with. 3 Anfore (Abundance): A time of merriment and reflection spent in the company of friends and loved ones. The conclusion of a matter in plenty and perfection. The strength of a diverse community being brought together. May suggest a celebration, festival, anniversary, wedding, baby shower, or other joyous gathering.
The card second from the top of the staff represents your hopes, fears, or an unexpected element that will come into play. 5 Spade (Defeat), when reversed: Refusing to achieve success through personal degradation. Friendship maintained through the abandonment of a dishonorable gain. Slander and infamy avoided.
The card at the top of the staff represents the ultimate outcome should you continue on this course. 4 Spade (Truce): A time of tranquility and intellectual repose in the midst of a great struggle. A temporary retreat from stress to regather inner strength, reaffirm convictions, reorganize thoughts, and formulate a new plan. The need for vigilance in a moment of calm. May suggest a withdrawal from the material world to find spiritual guidance.
Yeah. About what I expected.
Question 2:
Note - these were the weirdest cards I'd ever seen. Not sure if I like their style or the spread, but it gave up some interesting food for thought nonetheless.
The Fourfold Vision spread offers a progression of different ways of looking at an object, person, or situation. It is a powerful tool for gaining deeper insight into the specific subjects of other readings. The William Blake Tarot explores the mystical vision and artistry of the renowned English painter and poet. Through rich interpretations focused on creative undertakings, it has long been the deck of choice for artists, writers, musicians, and thinkers.
The card on the far right represents the object being viewed, be it an idea, relationship, or the self. Child of Poetry: "I found them blind: I taught them how to see". Feelings of creative restlessness and artistic impulses. Sparks are flying. Learning through experience. Taking risks. Bending over backwards in your effort to see the appropriate direction for self-development and creativity. Looking for inspirational influences in your environment. In the creative process: An inspirational breakthrough is at your feet; it is up to your to pick up the energy and make the most of it.
The card second from the right represents the physical vision: how the object is seen at a base or mechanical level. Error: Seeking ego-gratification through manipulation or duplicity. Self-importance. Lacking a sense of humor. Being controlled by your lower nature or personal shadow. Fears engendered by ignorance. Feeling pressured by materialistic, institutional, or corporate agents. Negative obsessions. Blind adulation. Sexual or material bondage. Giving in to temptation, guilt, or panic.
The card in the middle represents the mental vision: the object personified and seen through a humanized perspective. Moon, when reversed: Encountering unconscious fears. Possible self-deceptions and distortions of reality. Lunatic urges, including sexual license. Keeping secrets. Hidden conditions and unknown circumstances. Cyclic patterns and influences.
The card second from the left represents the emotional vision: how passions and values are creatively stimulated by the mental vision. Three of Poetry (Creativity): "I must Create a System, or be enslav'd by another Mans I will not Reason & Compare: my business is to Create". A creative opportunity presents itself. A lucky break is in store for you. Taking an imaginative or literary approach is favored. A revelation of truth is at hand. All the pieces are falling into place. You achieve an understanding that has far-reaching implications. In the creative process: You get the go-ahead to "do your thing"; your project has special blessing at this time because of your ability to see an overview or get the big picture.
The card on the far left represents the fourfold or mystical vision: still viewing through the previous three, we now add a spiritual element, revealing unseen aspects of the object. Six of Music (Pleasure): "...we cannot experience pleasure but by means of others...". Being the center of attention. Receiving support from teamwork or group action. Satisfaction deriving from family, friends, colleagues. Participation in a social or community endeavor. Reunion. Keen awareness of the dance of life. Forging links and bonds with others. Experiencing a sense of belonging. Nostalgia and happy memories. In the creative process: Make use of collective or group energies, bringing them together for maximum benefit and mutual enjoyment.
Interesting.
And finally question 3.
Note: I'm not sure I'm good with this deck or reading style either, but yet it yielded interesting stull anyway.
The Two Paths spread provides insight into an important decision ahead of you, the possible outcomes, and the forces that draw you towards each of these outcomes. The images of the Minchiate Tarot are drawn from a rare surviving 18th century deck of 97 cards - 19 more than the traditional Tarot. It is considered by many to be the single most powerful divination tool on the web, providing deep insight, rich in ancient symbolism, to any question you may pose.
The top left card represents the first possible outcome. Libra, when reversed: Prejudice and snobbery towards the less sophisticated. Gullibility and lack of practical knowledge. Inability to make a decision and stick by it. Ivory tower idealism divorced from reality.
The top right card represents the second possible outcome. Two of Coins (Change): Balance and harmony achieved in a time of upheaval and transformation. Taking two steps forward for every one step back. Shifting the importance of projects and priorities to keep everything on track. A change in occupation or location.
The middle left card represents the force drawing you towards the first possible outcome. Queen of Wands, when reversed: The dark essence of fire behaving as water, such as steam: The natural embodiment of passion and sensuality, who will do anything to the be the center of attention. A seducer who calculatingly dons the guise of what others desire. A cocky and domineering person, who pushes anyone or anything aside to get what she wants. One who is vengeful and quick to take offense without good cause. May indicate infidelity and contempt for a relationship.
The middle right card represents the force drawing you towards the second possible outcome. The Moon: Cyclic transformation covering the mysterious forces of the night. Feminine beauty and the intoxicating vitality of youth. The metamorphosis from beauty to beast and vice versa. Occult forces, sensitivities and intense dreams. Dangerous situations and perilous times.
The bottom card represents the critical factor that decides what will come to pass. Four of Coins (Power), when reversed: Using your power freely for your own enjoyment and the betterment of others. Coming to grips with progress and using your position to help it along. Finding security and identity someplace other than in the possession of material things. Letting go and encouraging others to find their own path. Being magnanimous and generous with your success.
I think here I'm already heading down one path, where I don't want to end up. Need to figure out what needs doing to end up going the other way?
Well that was fun.
Crashed at 5:30, woke up at 11. Trying to decided if I need to sleep some more or if I should use the time to hammer out some work...I was planning on doing the latter, but this week has been grueling, so I don't know.
--posted Fri, 15 Aug 2008 04:02:04 GMT
no subject
Tired. Jonesing for a 20 pc mcnuggets like whoa. That is all.
--posted Thu, 14 Aug 2008 21:07:36 GMT
GIP
toying with the idea of having aku on my left shoulder and this on my right.
For those who don't know... a drawing of a smiling cat, sometimes with a heart drawn with or inside it, is the hobo sign for "a kind hearted woman lives here." In other words (or just in words, period), tell the lady of this house the right story and you just may score a free dinner.
It's seeming more and more like the story of my life.
No, not aimed at anyone in particular, I promise. And most of the time I like being that person. But today I'm a little sad about it is all... These days especially, I could use a free dinner or twelve myself. :P
--posted Thu, 14 Aug 2008 03:52:53 GMT
no subject
There is nothing sadder and yet more horribly funny than opening a closet that has been, to your knowledge, shut for at least the better part of a day, and having an extremely grateful cat shoot out and try to snuggle the living bejesus out of you for releasing him. And once again I find myself extremely grateful that we seem to have the rare four cats that are litter-disciplined to perfection.
Gonna go love Valentino some more now. Poor kitty.
--posted Wed, 13 Aug 2008 11:56:50 GMT
Two of the best rickrolls I've seen in the past week
I figure if I tell you in advance they're rickrolls, y'all won't hate me.
Rickroll aside, that is a very well done 'shop right there.
And this bit of brilliance/too much free time is making the rounds as well:
--posted Tue, 12 Aug 2008 20:45:43 GMT
Surfacing
- The Buzz is playing "Going the Distance." You have no idea how insanely happy this makes me.
- slowly eroding the pile of work on my desk. I may make it and have everything that needs to be out before holiday out. Holy shit.
- triplemare: lol. No bruises there, no worries. They're usually good about not causing undue damage.
- despite the insanely busy batshit circus, I'm in a surprisingly decent mood. There are many little things that have contributed to this general feeling, and I guess moral of the story is that every little tiny bit helps. And I have amassed a collection of tiny positives that are helping to buoy me through the chin level schmoo that has to be dealt with before I leave. They add up. They really really really do.
- The Buzz is now playing Siouxie and the Banshees "Kiss Them For Me". I need to go home and download that. I love that song, and I never knew the damn title until now.
- So here's the question... do I run screaming from here to NY after work on Friday as planned? Or do I take a breather and have some much needed sleep and leave on Saturday morning? I'm leaning towards doing that, especially since anzovin will be back from SIGGRAPH with my suitcase by then. besides, after the week I'm having, I really won't want to leave my office only to have to jump immediately onto a bus. Well, looks like I made up my mind there, lol.
- I'm learning to ask when I feel like I need to be taken care of for a little while. I hate asking for it, as I always feel like I need to be this rock/pillar of strength/capable ball of cuddly steel all the time, even when it's obviously not true and I'm clearly having trouble keeping it together. Last night and today I asked. I hated to do it, but I have a feeling it was right to do, and probably has a lot to do with why I'm feeling way more capable than I did yesterday. Course actually getting good sleep last night might have helped with that, too. I'm also trying to take better care of me too... trying to stay positive, resting when I need to, and trying really hard not to beat myself up and stress more when things derail. And just generally trying to learn how to actually stop, slow down, and make sure I'm okay sometimes. It's harder than you think. My usual mode of operation was making sure everyone around me was okay first, and if they weren't doing my best to fix it. I always came last on that list, and it wore on me a lot... So while I still don't put me first, I try to make sure I'm at least in the top five now. So... progress.
Sigh... back to work.... And now there is Beastie Boys. heh heh heh. :D
--posted Tue, 12 Aug 2008 19:26:31 GMT
Blood draws today :(
--posted Tue, 12 Aug 2008 13:51:19 GMT
This is pretty cool.
http://www.walkscore.com/This site rates your neighborhood by determining how walkable it is. Pretty much this is determined by seeing what type of amenities are within walking distance from your house.
I find it funny that Camp Amoeba has a better walkability score (92 - Walker's Paradise) than The House in Brooklyn (76), but they do say that they fail to take public transportation into account, which is probably the only reason why.
I'm amused to know that there are people on my flist that have a zero score.
ETA: LOL! The Buzz is playing "Detachable Penis!"
EATA: just to keep all memes in one post...
--posted Mon, 11 Aug 2008 17:55:23 GMT
Bullet points
Since I have a moment or so to breathe, I thought it was time for a bullet list of happy things in my world.
- 181.fm - the Buzz. I know I'm late to the party, but I'm loving the party now that I've arrived. It's like someone found the grungy alternative soul of Z100 during the early/mid-nineties when I listened to it non stop from 6am-midnight with breaks for school and subway tunnels and spit it into an internet radio station. It was one of the main things that kept me sane last night as I valiantly battled Morpheus while trying to finish my project.
- Thunderstorms. We've been averaging about one every 36 hours for like a month, it's crazy.
- Olympics. GUH, EPIC WIN for Beijing for that opening ceremony alone. I'm sure the British are all like "CRAP what are we gonna do to upstage THAT in 2012???" Yeah good luck with that, guys. The Chinese pretty much PWNED this one. Really they could have stopped at the end of that opening 2008 Fo drum number and it still would have pwned everything ever.
Fail for Bob Costas and Matt Lauer though. There've been several ![[info]](http://p-stat.livejournal.com/img/community.gif)
ibarw posts about how eurocentrically skewed the coverage of the parade of nations was, and at some points it WAS pretty damn cringe inducing. If the host nation uses an ideographic writing system rather than an alphabetical one, it does not give you the right to call the ordering of the nations "nonsensical." And you really, really couldn't find anything more interesting and relevant to say about the Central African Republic other than it being in the center of Africa? *facepalm* They should offer a commentary-less SAP channel or something for these things. Also... I couldn't get through it as it was being broadcast because there were commercials every five minutes. And when you're watching a 4+ hour long program that gets intolerable wicked fast. Went far better a couple of days later when sydneycat and I watched it again on DVR.
On the positive side, I totally have Go USA!! crushes on Mike Phelps, Shawn Johnson and Nastia Lukin.
- Lynx, Xaio Hu and Cougar, thank you for bringing the squees, lolz and music this week. I'm glad to have met you guys. Also thank you for making last night less ignominious.
- The Perseids peak tonight, and it should be a fabulous show, provided the skies clear. I'll probably be up working anyway.... D:
- LobsterLM. Heh heh. And that is NOT #8.
- VACATION IN 4 DAYS!!!! *FLAIL*
--posted Mon, 11 Aug 2008 15:29:12 GMT
Something to constantly remind myself of
Nothing, and I do mean NOTHING, ever turns out to warrant the amount of stressing I do over things. Especially since the way I stress over things leads to a sort of terrified paralysis, which, since I'm not doing anything towards eliminating said cause of stress, makes the whole stress thing worse, and cue downward spiral. And I'm always so disgusted with myself for falling into that trap, especially since after breaking out of it enough to actually deal with the problem it ALWAYS ends up being an "oh.... that was it?" sort of thing.
Yeah.
I need to tattoo something on the back of my hand to the effect of "you are so making it out to be worse than it is" or something. Cause this shit right here is gonna give me a completely unnecessary stroke one day.
--posted Mon, 11 Aug 2008 14:21:21 GMT
A break
Gods, I feel like I'm writing a final paper for a class with the amount of carrying on I've been doing and procrastination. (Got a work project due tomorrow, lol.)
But I did want to take a few minutes to ramble a bit about Second Life. Yes. Second Life. Go on, make fun of me. I'll wait.
Done? Ok.
I started an account last month when
bluewindkitsune asked me to check on something for him while he was on the road, and after watching him tool around in it while he was over here a couple weekends ago, I decided to pop open that account this week and see what it was all about, especially in light of a fun conversation I was amused enough to overhear between
anzovin and Blue. Plus, I've been
really bored with WoW lately - I'm on self-imposed hiatus from that until Lich King comes out.
It's been interesting in the sort of way that makes me want to look on Google (after my assignment, damn it) to see if anyone's done any sociological studies of it. There's certainly enough there for some kid's Div III project over at Hampshire anyway. We already know how people behave on the internet when there are no real consequences and you can be as anonymous as you want to be. ( 4chan, trolls, etc) But then you add this extra 3 dimensional representation on top of that... it's pretty sublimely weird.
One thing that I was reminded of while exploring was books I've read. I mean, the Street in
Snow Crash is obvious, in fact, Linden Labs has stated that Stephenson's Metaverse is exactly what they were going for when designing this game. And honestly? They've done a fairly good job. I mean, that was the first thing I thought of when I logged in. But as I played more and watched how people behaved in different places and the avatars they chose, I was reminded less of
Snow Crash more and more of
Don't Bite the Sun by Tanith Lee. Seriously... everyone in SL? JANG. It's an entire world where death doesn't exist, you can change your appearance to be as "pretty" or as off the wall weird as you want (Seriously. I saw a ham on legs the other day. A HAM. wtf.) and you can pretty much do whatever the hell you want... it's all self directed to the point that in the first hour or so playing I was about ready to turn it off because I was kinda bored with zooming aimlessly from place to place, and I was kinda desperate for some guy with a bouncing yellow exclamation point to give me some damn direction. Which is pretty much exactly how the Jang think and feel... everything in their world is beautiful and comfortable, there's no money to worry about, no limit on their behavior, and they exist in this state of drugged up elegant ennui with everything. So they find circles of friends, and create drama for their own amusement. Which is pretty much what people on SL do. I couldn't really play this for long if I didn't already know folk on it. Then again I could have said the same about Warcraft.
The other thing that I found interesting was dealing with appearances.
I stated that you can pretty much customize your avatar to look however the hell you want. (A ham, for fuck's sake.) The game and the community within it attempts to be helpful to newbies in this regard, as there are hubs for free clothing for your avatar, and also "skins" (surface textures) and "shapes" (underlying shapes, which are usually further customizable using sliders.) There is better quality stuff out there for x amount of virtual money, but since you start out with zero and stay there until you either buy yourself some virtual money (the exchange rate's about L$250 per $1) or get a SL job, most people troll freebie places until they find something they can live with. This task is significantly easier (for women) if you want to look a) white b) skinny c) in all ways like a 20 dollar hooker. If you're one of those weirdoes like me who want to pretty much look like themselves as much as possible and don't happen to be white, skinny or a twenty dollar hooker, you're gonna have problems. Like seriously. That right there in my icon? that required a week of relentless "shopping" to find a skin that even remotely approached my actual skin tone and about five bucks of real money just for the dreds. And clothing is also a pain in the ass because while the stuff that's basically texture layers looks fine, the stuff that includes "prims" (primitive shapes added to an outfit)? As in real life, not at all built for people that decide to look like an actual person with actual curves as opposed to being "SLanorexic". Which most female avatars are, btw. Stick figures with improbable boobs, and hair that escaped from Dolly Parton's wardrobe, 75% of them, I swear. (the other 25% are anime girls.)
I tell you, this has been a week of discovering self-criticism with a vengeance, lol. I'm not body conscious at all in real life, but I chuckle to think of the hours I've spent this week evaluating the size of my avatar's ass, boobs, hip spread, belly, what have you. Hell, I've even had the odd experience of tweaking my camera angle up between my character's legs and thinking "okay, no, I'm sorry, black pussy? UR DOING IT WRONG." (No, seriously, we flat out just don't come in the same shades of pink that white girls do. I promise.) And there was some time fighting with various bits of clothing (cause SL = BEST PAPERDOLLS EVER) and nearly giving in, popping open the slider and shrinking the size of my ass/tummy to fit into whatever it was. Cause sometime art really does imitate life - how many times have I lamented that they don't make cute clothes for chubby girls? And when they do, they're more expensive?
I'm finally happy with my avatar, btw. She's in the ballpark, if not an exact match. She's still thinner and leggier than I'd like, but she looks
real. Which, as I continued to run around SL with Blue and his gang and by myself, is in very short supply. And I have yet to run into a single person that, well, looks like me. I've seen four other "black women" this week. All tall and sticklike, except for one, who was clearly played by someone with some serious Hottentot Venus problems and a leopard print fetish. *wince*
I kinda had the same feeling playing Warcraft. My favorite toon to play, appearancewise, was Pimienta, my dwarf priest. She was pleasingly chubby, and other than being, well,
short, she looked like me - the dark skin tone for dwarf females is really quite pretty with their facial structure. Did I see anyone that looked like her/me running around Azeroth besides myself? Hell no. Seriously, of the two races out of the ten that even had a realistic dark skin tone available, I saw barely anyone using it ever. And if I weren't dead tired and with miles of work to do still, I could make a comment on the Horde races, specifically the orcs, trolls and tauren... how they're considered "ugly/antagonist races" and yet their histories and designs are pretty much lifted from brown-people cultures ("I know, we'll make this race based on native/aboriginal culture.... BUT WE'LL MAKE THEM COWS." wtf.), and how there was this big hoopla when the Burning Crusade came out because the Horde were finally getting a "pretty" race with the pale, green eyed, willowy Blood Elves. Hell, this whole thing could have made an interesting
ibarw post, if I were a little quicker about writing it and if I had a few more brain cells to devote to it. Bah, maybe I'll submit it anyway.
Anycrap. SL=damn fascinating in its own weird little way.
Back to work with me.
--posted Mon, 11 Aug 2008 05:53:04 GMT
livejournal
